FORUMula1.com - F1 Forum

[stonemonkey]

Sounds to me like she wanted you to find out without her actually having to say anything to you. Relationships can end and different people deal with/do it in different ways, this is hers, no ways are easy but some hurt more.

[darwin dali]

That age difference is creepy. Whatever they've got going on at the moment likely won't be long term though.

I'm twelve years into my relationship and we have a big age difference - all I can say is it's worked well for us.

I do worry about Mrs Spanky finding out about DD though

Big age diff me likey
How about asking her to join in?

[spankyham]

That age difference is creepy. Whatever they've got going on at the moment likely won't be long term though.

I'm twelve years into my relationship and we have a big age difference - all I can say is it's worked well for us.

I do worry about Mrs Spanky finding out about DD though

Big age diff me likey
How about asking her to join in?

I always do

[darwin dali]

That age difference is creepy. Whatever they've got going on at the moment likely won't be long term though.

I'm twelve years into my relationship and we have a big age difference - all I can say is it's worked well for us.

I do worry about Mrs Spanky finding out about DD though

Big age diff me likey
How about asking her to join in?

I always do

Uh, she's not the geriatric between the two of you, is she?

[geetface9]

@Geet and Spank: I know it hurts. Like I said, I am trying my best but like Geet's point, it will not be hard and it may take months to years. Doesn't help the fact I have autism and it jut hurts my head to think if she loved me because I get confused quite easily. I know money is essential for love but to me, it shouldn't be essential when you realise your partner can't get much because he is jobless and he is wanting to spend a nice vacation with you...But she didn't want that, she wanted me to do stuff hard and it's like what am I supposed to do? I just wish the pain would stop...I wish I didn't have to cry every single day and the likelihood is, it will happen today. I just wish I could switch my emotions off but that is not how life works Just wish she would understand who she was and what mistakes she has done. But I can't see it happening because she has illustrated me to be the bad person and the one that should be guilty...I want her back to hug and love me because she was so wonderful with that...But I know that if she did, I wouldn't accept her because of the stunt she pulled. Hurts so much...I just want to know what to do to get rid of these memories instantly because like I said, I want this pain to stop. I just want to get better to be honest. Tomorrow would be 4 weeks since we broke up and 3 years since we got engaged lol...[/color]

Word man. It will stop sooner or later. Probably a little later rather than sooner but that's ok. And eventually you won't care how she made you out to be because you'll know the truth and you frankly won't give a sh1t I didn't know you have autism. That probably makes it a little more difficult. Doctors thought I had autism as a toddler because I have very anti-social tendencies so I guess I kinda know what it's like to a small degree. It's extra hard cuz you feel like you finally found someone who was great for you which is even harder being autistic.

[sagi58]

@Sagi: I wouldn't say I'd take her back in a heartbeat because why should I? She left me in tears for three weeks, I cry everyday because I miss having her love me. And that love is replaced by hate and ignorance, with the fact that I was trying my best to let bygones be bygones and she just twisted my mind AGAIN. She was selfish because she wouldn't sacrifice someone that would become repetitive for her for something grand. I am just hoping one day she wakes up and sees what a total idiot she has been and if I do kick the bucket before her, maybe that death would drive her guilt more. Who knows. I know money pays for a lot of stuff and that and she needs to realise that until I get a job, that is going to be an issue but she decides to finish me to be with someone who has already experienced half of his life, who already has a home, who already has loads of money and again, twice her age. It's like an unfair jab to me. She is seriously selfish and the people I feel sorry for are the people who STILL respect her. But I assume she gave some sob story to please them. The problem is, I can't stop feeling about her. I mean, my sleep report last night was the same as any other night. Trying to sleep, eventually did and it was bad dreams about her. And I even posted a video on my YouTube account to show everyone how I really feel about her and yes, it has me crying. Not my intention, but at least it pushes evidence of how I really felt about her. Maybe one day...I just don't know. I want to forget her, I want to get rid of her, but I can't help feel that being my first love and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with...It hurts so much. I even said to myself that I hate being alive right now because of this

Liam, I want to say something to you and it comes from the bottom of my heart and soul.
She is NOT worthy of you! She is NOT worthy of even one tear you've shed. That does not
make it any easier to accept that she has hurt you so deeply. It really is her shame and will
be her eternal regret. Please believe me when I say, you WILL find someone worthy of you!
You WILL find someone who loves you as deeply and unconditionally as you love her. Try to
be patient and to trust in humanity.

This girl is obviously very egotistical and quite selfish if all she can think of and see is what
someone else can do for her. Love is not about "what have you done for me lately"! It should
be about giving... if you can't give love, you can't treasure it...

That may sound very corny; but, it's what I believe!
Take heart, dear friend, and be who you are!

[LiamCatterson]

I just want people to know how I've been feeling as of late. It's the most pain I've felt and I just want people to answer their thoughts about this. I want everyone to know just how hard this has been for me and I thank all the support that has been given. These 3 and a half weeks have been hell.

@Geet: It will stop some time. Just right now, it's glued to me and Iwish it didn't lol. Like right now, I do hate her but it's just being so in love with that person and thinking you'd have it all with them, thinking you'd be their number one forever because she was always my number one...And like I said, it hurts so much to know the person you worship can easily betray you in a snap. Yeah I think my autism does make it a lot harder than originally thought because I am very anti-social too, like I don't have outside friends albeit one who lives a bit away from me. But yeah, I spent so much time building trust and she knocks it down, so it is kinda like a big low to me. She knew I had it, she knew what impact it would have on me and at the end of the day, she didn't seem to care and now she is putting on this image to people that are close to her that she is the innocent one.

@Sagi: I've even said she is not worthy to live for because of what she has done. I can't do anything about this apart from go back to her but that would just show how stupid I am considering what she has done to me. So I won't dedicate my life to someone who isn't worthy to have it, but it still hurts like hell cos I do really care for her so much. Very mixed emotions like I hate her so much but I still care and still wish she saw what she did as a mistake. I just hope I do find someone worthy because like I said before, having autism and being very diverse from socializing to other people makes it hard for me to trust someone considering I trusted her for a long time, 4 years of trust really and she broke that trust. I just hate the fact that my whole life has been nothing but consequences for me and I just hoped with Charlene, she would turn that fortune around. She knows how rough of a life I have been living, she knows how hard I have had it and she expects me to be fine...It makes it worse that her new boyfriend is threatening me online and she doesn't even seem bothered. Like four years really meant nothing to her...God I hate these mixed emotions right now...Just the fact alone that she said that she wouldn't find love for a while, and bam, she lied to me...

[vaptin]

Work out what you want to do. I guess, lets face it, do you really want her back? or do you want the old relationship back, you can't do back into the past, and I guess you don't want to get back with her now.

So, then work out how to acheive what you want, to move on, so keep busy, do other stuff to forget about her, emotionally de-attach, you are still you.

Also, what she does with her life, is her problem/ concern not yours.

[Jabberwocky]

Liam,

I know how you are feeling mate, I am sure just like most of this forum at some time or other have been through it, it is rough, you will feel like poo. What you have said about her she sound a bit of a gold digger. Think how the new bloke in her life feels, one day his money will run dry, because in my experience women like that just get more and more expensive (trust me I have been divorced from one for 10 years and still trying to pay the bills off), he will always be thinking will she leave when I am skint! I think feeling that would be worse than what you are feeling now, she has shown her true colours. Is that someone you would want to spend the rest of you life with?

I turned to beer when it happened to me, don't do that as it will make a bad situation even worse, yes you can drink to forget but in the end you need to remember and work it out in your head. I coined the phrase "Snakes with tits" one drunken night, and it seems to fit.

Chin up, and when the time comes there is plenty more fish in the sea. One that will love you if you have 1p in your pocket or 1 Millions. As someone else said use your current anger and hate in a positive way. (I always went for something that meant controlled aggression, my mate however built a kit car when it happened to him.)

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and tap something.

Andy

[LiamCatterson]

Yeah Snakes with tits seems like the appropriate way to describe her xD

Like I said Andy, I made a comment saying I bet when he was 19, he couldn't afford to live to be honest because I think it is an unfair advantage that she would move from me, complaining about how I lacked money, to some 43 year old idiot who has a lot of money (and a home to add more constellation) and he can take her out because he DOES have money. Now if that was me, if I had money now and was still with her, I'd love to take her out because I hate my town and I would love to explore the rest of my county. But no chances were given unfortunately. Like I said, in a way I am using anger in a good way because it makes me think mentally, what would happen if he is bankrupt and what will happen to her future when she made the biggest mistake? I could've been there to grow old with her and whatnot but now it looks like she is going to have a weak future that will have her going from men to men because she went with someone who was twice as old as her and won't grow old with her, not like me who would. And when HE is old and can barely make his way to his feet, she will have to be doing everything for him and she will feel more isolated than ever. Not like she would with me but eh, her loss. 3 years today I proposed to her. How saddening and on Saturday, it will be exactly one month since she abandon me.

[LRW]

Liam. I think a lot of us have been there, and know the pain you are feeling.

When I was 18, the girl I had been dating for over a year, the first girl I ever loved, the girl who I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with, went on a summer business course for a week. The day before she left, we spent a romantic day in the grounds of blenheim Palace, we told each other how we loved each other, and how we meant the world to each other. The very next day, 6 hours after meeting a guy on this course, she slept with him. She spent the week sleeping with him. She ripped my heart in two and destroyed me. I was so in love with her though, and the thought of losing her, killed me so much, I begged her to forget him and come back to me. I managed to convince her. She came back to me. We struggled on together for almost a year. But it was a wasted year, and the relationship was never the same.

Even after we finally broke up, it took me almost another year to get over her. As with you, it hurt, I cried, I felt lonely, I felt like I couldnt be bothered. But I pushed on through, and I focused on spending time with friends, on other interests. Soon enough, I could go a few hours without thinking about her, then a day, then a few days - and eventually I could even think about her without getting upset. It took time, but after letting myself go through the process of grieving the relationship, I got over it. I know it doesnt seem like it now, but you WILL get over her, you WILL move on, and you WILL be happy again. It will just take a little time.

I think, you should just try and let go of the fact of what she has done, or why she has done it, and just focus on yourself, and pushing yourself foward. You are much better off without her, and in a couple of years, you will realise you are a better and stronger person for having gone through it.....

[sagi58]

... in a way I am using anger in a good way because it makes me think mentally, what would happen if he is bankrupt and what will happen to her future when she made the biggest mistake? ... when HE is old and can barely make his way to his feet, she will have to be doing everything for him and she will feel more isolated than ever...

Liam, don't kid yourself. She won't stick around if he's bankrupt. She won't stick around when he gets old.
That's not the sort of woman she has proven herself to be, from what you've shared with us.

Don't stress about her and her well-being, that sort of woman always lands on her feet.

[LiamCatterson]

s*** LRW...That is horrible. It is kinda similar to what was going to happen with me and her because I saw the messages between her and his new boyfriend and this was whilst she was with me, and they planned to have umpalumpa so I don't know if she was going to dump me anyways, probably. But if they did during the relationship and I found out, I would've ended it. But man, that is so f'ed up s***. Not long after telling the girl she means the world and then she does that I don't think after the stunts my fiancee pulled, I wouldn't have her back if I am honest. I do miss her and I do miss her in my arms, being there for her. But after the stunts she pulled, naaa...I can't do it. But one day I will move on. I know I will and maybe it will take me more years than our relationship but we'll see. It just kills me at the minute so I wish for the future to arrive fast to get rid of the pain lol

I don't expect them to stick together sagi. Nobody does if I am truthful. What will hurt me is if she ends up having a kid with him lol. I was actually planning on having one between this year and next year because I knew this year would be the year I'd have to be looking for a job and finding a job is easier said than done, yes but it was something we'd agree upon and we'd work through. Fat lot of good that turned out to be

[geetface9]

Naw dude you should hope they have a kid together so that guy either has to raise the little mother $#@!er or pay child support forever. You should hope for such things I really hoped my ex wife would get pregnant from some other guy and that it would be retarded or something. Yeah, I'm that $#@hole.

I couldn't give two $#@!s less any more though. You'll get there some day.